A tribute to Adri van Zyl Forster Spies

Born Adriana Alletta Grové in South Africa, December 19, 1941

Adri went on to her eternal reward on Monday, August 24, 2015 in Kempton Park, South Africa

Alletta means FOOTLOOSE, FREE.  That was Adri!

Click on the photo for a TRIBUTE to Adri (00:09:46) on  .  This tribute was used during the celebration of Adri’s life at our church in South Africa on August 28, 2015.  A wonderful way for our family to remember a wonderful life.

 

For My Dear Sister Adri

From your little brother, Willie Grové in America

28 August 2015

It feels like it was yesterday. I remember it as if it happened just now.

A 10-year-old child

I stood there and cried like a baby. We were in church in Bloemfontein and I heard Patrys van Zyl say that he is taking you for life, until death parted you. I cried even harder. Why would he take my big sister away until death?!

Then came Willem. And then Mari. And next Doreen. And Patrys took me under his wing like I was his little brother, and he the big brother I never had. And he taught me everything about fixing cars and so many other things. And together with Pappie and Patrys I learned to weld, and to fix toasters when they broke, mix and pour concrete driveways, to build arbors for the grapevines we planted, and to take care of the peach trees – all things we could not afford to pay others to do.

What a wonderful big brother you gave me!

You were very beautiful. I did not know it then but now with adult eyes I see it with surprise in the photos. But you were such a good person, with your young heart wanting always to take care of everyone. And the most beautiful part of you was your soul and your spirit to the end.

I was in high school when the telephone call came. We rushed to the hospital but Patrys did not survive the car crash. I remember how I cried because I lost my big brother, the one who said he was taking my sister until death separated them.

I gave you and your three little ones my bedroom. Pappie and I made a screen and put a small bed in the living room, and that’s where I slept for several years. I always thought of it as camping out in our own house! We lived together as a family, Mammie and Pappie in their bedroom, Ria and Martie sharing theirs, you and your three beautiful little ones in mine, and I in the living room. We ate together, slaughtered sheep and raised chickens. Oh it was such a wonderful time when you lived there with us!

I helped some with the three little ones, as did everyone else. But Willem became mine. I taught him everything his Pa Patrys taught me. And I feel to this day he is my son and my friend. And a special bond formed during those years also with Mari and Doreen which is as strong to this day.

Do you remember the time whenever you wanted to go someplace and you always spoke in English so as not to upset the kids? One day Willem said, “You are speaking English again. I’m coming along!”

Music! It was so wonderful that you came to live with us even though we were so cramped in that small Railway house in Elandsfontein. We always made MUSIC!  All of us!  Together.  How beautifully you could play on the accordion and the electric organ… And when I was just 17 or 18 you got me into the SABC National Symphony chorus where you regularly performed so beautifully with all those wonderful singers. Accompanied by the SABC Symphony Orchestra we performed and even made a record of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony. And it was there where you at first let my love for classical music see the light, a love that today, 50 years later still enriches my life daily. I will never forget that.

And then Wilf came into our lives. Wilfred Forster became my second big brother. And he raised your children as his own. That does not surprise me because they were YOURS. Oh, all the adventures we had together! And when the tragic accident happened there at the lake, you were there to hold me tight, and my heart broke. But you picked up the pieces and together with Wilf you helped me to put my heart back together. Once again you were there when I needed you.

And then you and Wilf surprised me when you stole onto the plane to America for my marriage to Katie, to be there at my side when I made my biggest decision to marry and American girl. And you adopted my American family as your own.

And for more than 37 years here in America you continued to love me over the great distance and never said to me, “Why did you go so far away?”

When I arrived at the hospital a few weeks ago that Saturday morning at the end of July, you were lying there, non-responsive. It was so difficult to see you lie there, knowing the end must be near. But I knew you knew I was there as I talked to you, and sang our childhood songs ever so softly in you ear. And I could see the peace on your face and I knew you knew where you are going.

A life lived perfectly… and you knew it.

We decided to remove the life support on Monday, and by Wednesday you were lucid enough to ask me, “ Now, how is it that you are here?”

“I got word that you are very ill and I got on a plane and came to be by your side, as you were at mine so many times in my life.”

“Then that is why I am getting better”, you said.

And then I sang another song for you from our childhood because your soul is filled with music.

Well, of course I would have known that the new husband you took would be special also, because you only went for special! I am so thankful for the few extra years that Willem Spies gave you, and admire him so for the way HE stood by your side through this illness. Of course we all know that he, Wilf and Patrys didn’t deserve a wonderful woman like you anymore than I deserve my Katie!

During the week that I was there, Willem (your son, Willem) said to me in great distress, “But what will I do now? She was my ROCK. How could I live without her?”

You were a ROCK for many.

“We must not confuse the body-ROCK with the soul and spirit-ROCK”, I said to Willem. “Because the rock you are for your children and grandchildren, and for so many others, is not the imperfect vessel in which we travel through this life, but the PERFECT soul and spirit which will endure forever.”

The times we spent there at the Vaal Dam are for me very special and precious. The good times with our boats! And I so often think about the special moments at the end of a perfect day when we would sail there in the sunset as the evening breeze softly announces the cool of the night, just before the earth swallows the sun.

And I think of the beautiful poem by Henry Van Dyke, “Gone From My Sight” because it so clearly describes my sister.

Gone From My Sight

Henry Van Dyke

I am standing upon the seashore

A ship, at my side, spreads her white sails

To the moving breeze

And starts for the ocean

She is an object of beauty and strength.

I stand and watch her until, at length,

She hangs like a speck of white cloud

Just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other

Then, someone at my side says, “There, she is gone”

“Gone where?” I ask.

Gone from my sight, that’s all

She is just as large in mast, hull and spar

As she was when she left my side

And she is just as able to bear her load

Of living freight to her destined port

Her diminished size is in ME — not in her

 And, just at the moment when someone says,

“There, she is gone,”

There are other eyes watching her coming

And other voices ready to take up the glad shout,

 “Here she comes!”

 

Your journey on earth was fantastic, well lived, organized. But I feel sorry for those in heaven who may not listen to you, because you will in short order organize them!

You are now in The Holy City. Some day we will all be there, together again, and when I arrive you will take me by my hand as in days of old, and you will say, “Come, my little brother. Let me show you the wonders of The Holy City. And all the people who have been expecting you for so long, they are here.”

And the symphony orchestra will play and the choirs sing, and our whole family shall once again make music together and entertain them with Gister se Wysies (Yesterday’s Tunes).

And I will thank God for you and the example you were for us all.

And I will sing:

Hosanna in the highest

Hosanna for evermore

A recording of The Holy City made at Trinity United Methodist Church, Columbus, Ohio.  Willie Grové, soloist.  Eileen Huston, piano.  Jan Linker, organ.

 And here is my tribute to Adri in Afrikaans:

Vir my Sussie Adri

Van jou klein boetie, Willie Grové in Amerika

 28 Augustus, 2015

Dit voel of dit gister was. Ek onhou dit asof dit nou net gebeur het.

‘n Tien-jarige kind.

Ek het daar gestaan en huil soos ‘n baba. Ons was in die kerk in Bloemfontein, en ek hoor daai ou Patrys van Zyl nou sê hy vat jou vir die hele lewe tot die dood julle skei. Toe huil ek nog éérs! Hoekom sal hy dan my sussie wegvat to die dood toe?

Toe kom Willem daar aan. En Mari. En Doreen. Daai Patrys van Zyl het my soos ‘n klein boetie onder sy vlerke geneem en my alles geleer van karre en nog baie ander dinge. Saam met ons Pappie en Patrys het ek geleer om te weld, toasters wat breek reg te maak, wingerde te bou en druiwe an perske bome te plant, sement te mix en gooi – al die dinge het ons self gedoen want ons kon mos nie ander mense bekostig om dit vir ons te doen nie.

Wat ‘n wonderlike groot broer het jy my gegee!

Jy was baie mooi. Ek het dit nie toekans geweet nie, maar nou met volwasse oë sien ek dit met verbasing in die prentjies. En jy was so ‘n baie goeie mens, met ‘n jong hart wat altyd vir almal wou gesorg het. Maar die mooiste deel van jou was jou siel en jou spirit – tot die einde toe.

Ek was in hoërskool toe daai oproep kom. Ons was hospital toe, maar Partrys het nie die ongeluk oorlewe nie. Ek onthou hoe ek gehuil het want ek het my groot broer verloor; die een wat gesê het hy vat my sussie tot die dood julle skei.

Ek het my kamer aan jou en jou drie kleintjies gegee. Pappie en ek het so ‘n skerm gemaak, en ek het in die sitkamer of a klein bedjie geslaap. Ek het gedink dit was soos uitkamp in my eie huis. Ons het as ‘n familie saam gelewe, Mammie en Pappie in hulle kamer, Ria en Martie in hulle kamer, jy met die pragtige drie kleingoed in my kamer, en ek in die sitkamer. Ons het saam ge-eet, skape geslag hoenders groot gemaak. Ai, dit was ‘n lekker tyd toe jy daar by ons gebly het.

Ek het maar gehelp met die drie kleintjies, soos almal het. Maar Willem het myne geword. Ek het hom alles probeer leer wat sy Pa Patrys my geleer het. En tot vandag voel ek hy is my seun en my vriend. En ‘n spesiale bond met Mari en Doreen het ontwikkel wat tot vandag so sterk is.

Onthou jy die keer toe jy êrens wou heen ry? Jy het altyd in Engels gepraat sodat die kindertjies nie upset moet wees nie. Toe sê Willem eendag so kostelik, “Jy praat al weer Engels. Ek gaan saam!”

Musiek. Dit was so lekker dat jy by ons kom bly het, al was ons so gecramp in daai klein Spoorweg huisie in Elandsfontein. Maar ons kon MUSIEK maak, almal van ons! Hoe mooi het jy die trek klavier gespeel, of die orrel. En toe ek net 17 of 18 was het jy my daar by die SAUK se groot koor ingekry waar jy so mooi saam met al die ander goeie sangers opgetree het. Saam met die SAUK Simfonie orkes het ons Beethoven se 9de Simfonie gesing en selfs ‘n plaat gemaak. En daar het jy my liefde vir klasieke musiek die lig laat sien, ‘n liefde wat vandag, 50 jaar later, nog my lewe verreik elke dag. Ek sal dit nooit vergeet nie.

Wilf het toe in ons lewe gekom. Wilfred Forster het my tweede groot broer geword. En hy het jou kinders groot gemaak soos sy eie. Ek is nie verbaas nie, want hulle was JOUNE. Al die avonture wat ons saam gehad het! En toe die tragiese ongeluk daar by die dam gebeur het, was jy daar om my vas te hou, en my hart het gebreek. Maar jy het die stukke opgetel, en saam met Wilf my gehelp om dit weer aanmekaar te sit. Weereens was jy daar toe ek jou nodig gehad het.

En toe jy en Wilf my so verras het toe Katie en ek getroud is, om so skelm daar op die vlieguig te klim na Amerika toe, om weer daar by my sy te wees wanneer ek die grootste besluit geneem het om ‘n Amerikaanse meisie te trou. En hoe jy my Amerikaanse familie aangeneem het as jou eie.

En vir amper 37 jare hier in Amerika het jy my altyd bly lief hê en nooit vir my gesê, “hoekom het jy so ver weg gegaan” nie.

Toe ek by die hospitaal aankom daai Saterdag ‘n paar weke gelede by die einde van Julie, het jy daar gelê en my nie eers gegroet nie! Dit was so swaar om jou so daar te sien lê en te weet die einde moet naby wees. Maar ek het geweet jy weet ek is daar, want wanneer ek vir jou saggies ons kinderliede gesing het het jou gesig soveel vrede gewys.

‘n Lewe volmaak gelewe, dit het jy geweet.

Maandag het ons saam met die dokter besluit om jou lewen-ondersteuning af the vat. Woensdag vra jy toe vir my, “Nou hoekom is jy nou hier?” A miracle recovery!

“Ek het woord gekry dat jy baie siek is, toe het ek op ‘n vliegtuig geklim en jou kom sien.”

“Dan is dit nou hoekom ek beter word”, sê jy.

En toe sing ek nog ‘n liedjie vir jou van ons kinderdae, want jou siel is vol musiek.

En natuurlik moes ek weet dat die nuwe man wat jy nou gevat het spesiaal sou wees, want jy het mos net vir spesiale ouens gegaan. Ek is dankbaar vir die paar jare wat Willem Spies aan jou geskenk het, alhoewel ek weet dat hy, Wilf en Patrys almal jou nie verdien het nie, net so min soos ek my Katie verdien!

Gedurende die week wat ek daar was het Willem (jou seun Willem) vir my gesê, “Maar wat sal ek nou doen? Sy was my ROTS. Hoe kan ek sonder haar lewe?”

Jy was ‘n ROTS vir baie.

“Maar ons moet nie die liggaam–rots met die siel–rots deurmekaar maak nie”, het ek vir Willem gesê. Want die ROTS wat jy vir jou kinders en kleinkinders is, is nie in die imperfekte liggaam nie. Dit is in jou perfekte siel en spirit, en dit sal ons vir ewig hê.

Daar by die dam was vir my die lekkerste tye met ons bote. Ek dink so baie aan ons seil daar in die sonsondegang as die aandwind so saggies die koelte van die nag aankondig, net voor die aarde die son insluk.

En ek dink aan die gedig van Henry Van Dyke, Gone From My Sight, want dit beskryf my Sussie, Adri:

Gone From My Sight

Henry Van Dyke

I am standing upon the seashore

A ship, at my side, spreads her white sails

To the moving breeze

And starts for the ocean

She is an object of beauty and strength.

I stand and watch her until, at length,

She hangs like a speck of white cloud

Just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other

Then, someone at my side says, “There, she is gone”

“Gone where?” I ask.

Gone from my sight, that’s all

She is just as large in mast, hull and spar

As she was when she left my side

And she is just as able to bear her load

Of living freight to her destined port

Her diminished size is in ME — not in her

 And, just at the moment when someone says,

“There, she is gone,”

There are other eyes watching her coming

And other voices ready to take up the glad shout,

 “Here she comes!”

 

Jou reis op aarde was fantasties, goed gelewe, goed georganiseer. Maar ek voel jammer vir hulle in die Hemel as hulle nie na Adri luister nie, want jy sal hulle sommer dadelik organize!

Jy is nou in die Heilige Stad. Eendag sal ons almal daar weer bymekaar wees, en jy sal weer my hand vat soos in die ou dae en sê, “Kom, my klein Boetie, ek will jou al die wonders van die Heilige Stad gaan wys, en al die mense wat jou al so lank verwag, hulle is hier. En die simfonie orkes sal speel, en die kore sing, en ons hele familie sal vir hulle musiek maak daar met Gister se Wysies.

En ek sal God dank vir jou, en vir die voorbeeld wat jy vir ons almal was.

En ek sal sing:

Hosanna in die hoogste.

Hosanna for evermore

A recording of The Holy City made at Trinity United Methodist Church, Columbus, Ohio.  Willie Grové, soloist.  Eileen Huston, piano.  Jan Linker, organ.